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I would just like to humbly thank Sparks for recording not one, but TWO A+ aromantic anthems: "I Married Myself" and "Eaten By the Monster of Love." To be fair, neither are exactly anthemic, but I like alliteration. I've honestly considered getting a ring for myself recently, and "I Married Myself" has sort of helped me affirm that desire. And "Eaten By the Monster of Love" not only perfectly describes my view on relationships (only "I'm Not In Love" by Talking Heads does it better), but it's also supremely fucking catchy. I love these songs. I think I love this band.

Since I'm getting into Sparks, I've been tracing back my personal history with them, because it's interesting that I've known about them so long but never really listened until now. I believe the first time I heard about them was when I was going through my dad's LP collection, long before I started collecting LPs and even before he had a turntable on which to play them. I unearthed a record showing two geisha girls looking startled against a green backdrop- instantly recognizable to Sparks fans as their most famous album, Kimono My House. When my dad saw it, he laughed and said "That's Sparks!" in a sort of reverent tone. But because he didn't own a turntable, I didn't get to hear Kimono My House that day, or any of his other Sparks records.

Regrettably, I can't remember the first time I actually heard Sparks' music, but I remember my reaction: "WTF??" I'm not sure what album it was that my dad first played around the house, but I'm guessing it was Hello Young Lovers- given that it was on CD (a later release), and I remember seeing and loving the album cover (it's full of bunnies!), and when I listened to it recently I found myself singing along to "Metaphor," despite having no memory of the rest of the album. Anyway, if it was Hello Young Lovers, no wonder I found it so strange. Conventional is not exactly the word one would use to describe it, and while I had yet to become musically aware (assuming that my dad played it shortly after its release in 2006), it was definitely far removed from the kind of music I was used to hearing. Later I remember my dad playing Sparks' 2008 release, Exotic Creatures of the Deep, and that got through to me a little more, to the extent that "Good Morning" was one of those songs that stayed with me for years until I finally decided to google the lyrics, trying to figure out just what was that song I heard as a kid that went "good morning, I woke up and thought I was still dreaming?" (Actually, those aren't the lyrics- it's actually "good morning, who are you, I woke up and saw you," but having only heard the song once, I can be forgiven for misremembering the words.)

Besides those two albums, the only other Sparks song that stuck with me was, bizarrely, "Batteries Not Included" from their second album, A Woofer in Tweeter's Clothing, and I have no idea how I ended up hearing that. It's the only track on the album that was familiar to me at all when I listened to it recently, and in fact it was the first thing I thought of when I thought of Sparks over the years- this hilarious, under-a-minute song about a disappointing technological purchase. I remember thinking this song was SO FUNNY when I was younger, but it didn't get a laugh from me when I revisited it- I guess it's one of those jokes that only works the first time. Anyway, by this point, Sparks was "that weird band my dad loves," and I wasn't interested in them. I also, as a result of his fandom, assumed that they were much more popular and legendary than they actually are. I mean, they have a sizable fanbase, but I've been shocked by how little engagement some of their content has (small message boards, small subreddit, YouTube comments that you can scroll to the end of).

But, I did become interested eventually, after my dad played me the album Angst In My Pants. It actually took me two listens when revisiting it to see what I had initially seen in it. For some reason, the first time I relistened, I was underwhelmed. But I just heard the album again yesterday and it's drastically shot up in my favor. This album has a cool New Wave type sound and I might have been in my New Wave phase when I first heard it, which explains my interest. And yet... I still didn't dive into Sparks until after I saw the documentary about them several weeks ago! So much of what I heard in the documentary both impressed me and made me happy, so I came out of the theater with one goal in mind- to hear EVERYTHING they had ever recorded. And so the very next day, on my drive to work, I put on Kimono My House. WOW! I won't say it's the best album they've ever recorded, but I'm so very happy I finally heard it.

Hello Young Lovers was next, and I definitely liked it a lot more than the first time I heard it. Then I believe I dipped my toe into Angst In My Pants, which, as I've mentioned, I found underwhelming- but THEN, Lil Beethoven came out of nowhere and grabbed me and has refused to let me go. Ever since then, I've been devouring their music, and I now only have five more albums to listen to (out of their 20+ album career- the official count is 25, but there are three I'm not including for the time being).

Anyway... I'm glad I finally discovered this band, even though I'm lowkey pissed that my dad never played Lil Beethoven around me- I feel like he was holding out on me all this time. Now, back to more Sparks listening.

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Blue M. Hart

February 2026

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