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May. 21st, 2023 06:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
between_time_and_42As mentioned in a previous post, I went to a new bookstore recently. It was a bit disappointing; the shop was small, and they only sold new titles. I bought some picture books for a friend's kid, but as for me personally, I had better luck at a nearby chain store that not only sold books, but records and movies as well. I was hoping to find at least one of these three- The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin, The Man Who Fell to Earth by Walter Tevis, or I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman. And I did find one of those three, which was I Was Born For This! I had a fun conversation with the cashier who rang me up, who gasped when they saw the book and said "Sorry, I'm such an Alice person!" They showed me their Heartstopper tattoo and said that they were making a countdown to season 2 with their friends, which was cool. I also happened to buy a strange single record that had a remix of Sparks' "Beat the Clock" on it. The remix is more interesting than good, but I'm keeping it because it's so rare to find anything related to Sparks in the wild. :P
Anyway, after I found I Was Born For This, I also found... AT LONG LAST... Alice Oseman's revised edition of Solitaire! I've been looking for this for quite a while, curious as to whether she changed a few certain things about the story that I felt were problematic. I didn't get to read all of it, of course, but I flipped to certain parts that I felt should have been changed, and here's what I found:
(Mentions of suicide, self harm, mental illness under the cut)
The two biggest things I was hoping had been changed between the two versions were 1. the nature of Charlie's self-harm (in the original version, he attempted suicide), and 2. the way Tori's parents reacted to her depression. Well, I can say at least that the first thing has been rectified. From what I read, the lines that implied that Charlie had attempted suicide had been removed, and Tori simply says that he hurt himself and she witnessed the aftermath (I can't remember for sure, but I think this was the incident that convinced him that he had to stay in the hospital for a while). It even says that the incident wasn't as bad as Tori was making it sound: "I know I'm exaggerating all of this. I know Charlie just had one really awful night, and I know I'm making it sound way more dramatic and way more horrific than it actually was. But my mind won't stop taking clouds and turning them into hurricanes." Honestly, I'm not sure if that's meant to be the objective, accurate reading of that incident- I'll explain why I think that in a moment- but it definitely softened the scene just a little. So, I'm a bit relieved to know that Alice Oseman changed this.
On the other hand, Tori's parents were depicted just as obnoxiously oblivious and unsympathetic towards her as they were in the original version. Nothing was changed in their interactions- Tori's father still told her to "cheer up" and made a horribly ill-timed and in bad taste joke about how both of his kids inherited their mental illnesses thanks to all the times he read Catcher In the Rye when he was younger (tangent: I know Catcher in the Rye was probably the first major depiction in literature of a traumatized teenager suffering from depression, and Solitaire is also a depiction of a traumatized teenager suffering from depression, so the comparison is fitting, but 1. I have never thought of it as such a cultural touchstone that one could easily make such a "joke" and be widely understood, and 2. the references to it in Solitaire were very much wink-wink-nudge-nudge and it felt too on the nose). As for Tori's mother, well... She hasn't been shown to be the most understanding person in Heartstopper (I should say that we've started to get some backstory during the most recent updates that has me really interested, so hopefully she eventually starts to release her own trauma and her relationship with her kids improves as a result by the time the comic ends), so I didn't think her behavior was too out of character. In fact, I sort of liked her portrayal in Solitaire, if only because her relationship with Tori is very relatable to me at times. But still, I don't understand... if Tori and Charlie's parents are so protective and attentive of Charlie and generally seem sensitive to his mental health issues, why would they act so insensitive when Tori is literally lying in bed all weekend, having breakdowns in front of Charlie, and showing no interest in anything? It really infuriates me that they apparently learned nothing. I don't know what Oseman's intentions were in portraying them in such a way (although I get that parents can be oblivious to their kids' mental health problems, but THESE parents have a reason not to be).
The only other thing that I noticed that was changed significantly was a violent incident, which was a little less explicit and changed from something that drew blood to something that simply caused a bruise. Still not fun for the character who was on the receiving end, but definitely not as dramatic. I don't really have any feelings about that. I could take or leave that (though I do think it's probably for the best considering which character it was, that they don't go through too much pain).
Also, I should say that I don't mind so much anymore about Tori & Michael becoming a couple eventually. I just don't like the context of their first kiss at all. I don't remember the original Solitaire well enough to recollect if anything from that scene specifically was changed, but they definitely still kiss in the same context, which is kind of... ugh. But again, I don't really mind them being a couple, I just think if Oseman was going to have them kiss, she should have waited to show that.
There was an interview with Oseman in the back of the book, from which I learned a few tidbits. First of all, Tori is definitely asexual (I knew this already, but it was nice to see her actually state it in an interview), although at the time of writing, Oseman didn't know what asexuality was and so didn't think of her in those terms. She says she just knew she didn't want to depict Tori as drooling over Michael's appearance and didn't want their relationship to stem purely from physical attraction, and only in hindsight did she realize that Tori ended up being "incredibly ace-coded" as a result. (She also said "I wish I could go back to my seventeen-year-old self and point [the ace-coded lines] out and say: 'Maybe you want to think about why you wrote Tori like this.'" Relatable.) She also said, to my surprise, that "I don't feel the desire to pull [Tori] into the foreground again- I feel her story is told." Which baffles me, because I did NOT get that impression from Solitaire, which doesn't end with much closure. I also don't like the idea of Heartstopper ending without any closure for Tori's story, so I really hope that eventually we get SOMETHING that lets us know that Tori is going to be okay or at least that she's done something to work on her mental issues, and maybe something that shows her and Michael's relationship more in-depth than a random kiss at a very inopportune time. I dunno, a gal can dream.
The only other thing I wanted to mention about Solitaire and the Alice Oseman interview was that Oseman said that what happened to Charlie really does weigh on Tori and affect her mental health- but that Tori would never admit to that. So that's why I feel like Tori downplaying the self-harm incident she witnessed is maybe not the most accurate reading of that scene- maybe she told herself that to try to ease her own pain and guilt over it- but I'm not too sure. I also think that makes her objections that she wasn't traumatized by one specific incident a more understandable, in that she's the one saying it, but that's not the truth. But again, I'm not sure... (This is why we need a "Tori goes to therapy" story tbh.)
Overall, now that I've re-read some parts of Solitaire and seen how few things I took issue with were changed, I don't think I need to add this one to my collection. Mostly because re-reading parts of it completely brought back the empathetic feelings I had when I first read it, where I felt so sorry for Tori to the point of feeling her own depression, and I don't want to own a story that makes me feel like that. But also, I gotta be honest, some of the dialogue is very cringeworthy and unrealistic, which I didn't really notice the first time I was reading it but now I'm like... Nah. Looking forward to reading I Was Born For This, though!
Anyway, after I found I Was Born For This, I also found... AT LONG LAST... Alice Oseman's revised edition of Solitaire! I've been looking for this for quite a while, curious as to whether she changed a few certain things about the story that I felt were problematic. I didn't get to read all of it, of course, but I flipped to certain parts that I felt should have been changed, and here's what I found:
(Mentions of suicide, self harm, mental illness under the cut)
The two biggest things I was hoping had been changed between the two versions were 1. the nature of Charlie's self-harm (in the original version, he attempted suicide), and 2. the way Tori's parents reacted to her depression. Well, I can say at least that the first thing has been rectified. From what I read, the lines that implied that Charlie had attempted suicide had been removed, and Tori simply says that he hurt himself and she witnessed the aftermath (I can't remember for sure, but I think this was the incident that convinced him that he had to stay in the hospital for a while). It even says that the incident wasn't as bad as Tori was making it sound: "I know I'm exaggerating all of this. I know Charlie just had one really awful night, and I know I'm making it sound way more dramatic and way more horrific than it actually was. But my mind won't stop taking clouds and turning them into hurricanes." Honestly, I'm not sure if that's meant to be the objective, accurate reading of that incident- I'll explain why I think that in a moment- but it definitely softened the scene just a little. So, I'm a bit relieved to know that Alice Oseman changed this.
On the other hand, Tori's parents were depicted just as obnoxiously oblivious and unsympathetic towards her as they were in the original version. Nothing was changed in their interactions- Tori's father still told her to "cheer up" and made a horribly ill-timed and in bad taste joke about how both of his kids inherited their mental illnesses thanks to all the times he read Catcher In the Rye when he was younger (tangent: I know Catcher in the Rye was probably the first major depiction in literature of a traumatized teenager suffering from depression, and Solitaire is also a depiction of a traumatized teenager suffering from depression, so the comparison is fitting, but 1. I have never thought of it as such a cultural touchstone that one could easily make such a "joke" and be widely understood, and 2. the references to it in Solitaire were very much wink-wink-nudge-nudge and it felt too on the nose). As for Tori's mother, well... She hasn't been shown to be the most understanding person in Heartstopper (I should say that we've started to get some backstory during the most recent updates that has me really interested, so hopefully she eventually starts to release her own trauma and her relationship with her kids improves as a result by the time the comic ends), so I didn't think her behavior was too out of character. In fact, I sort of liked her portrayal in Solitaire, if only because her relationship with Tori is very relatable to me at times. But still, I don't understand... if Tori and Charlie's parents are so protective and attentive of Charlie and generally seem sensitive to his mental health issues, why would they act so insensitive when Tori is literally lying in bed all weekend, having breakdowns in front of Charlie, and showing no interest in anything? It really infuriates me that they apparently learned nothing. I don't know what Oseman's intentions were in portraying them in such a way (although I get that parents can be oblivious to their kids' mental health problems, but THESE parents have a reason not to be).
The only other thing that I noticed that was changed significantly was a violent incident, which was a little less explicit and changed from something that drew blood to something that simply caused a bruise. Still not fun for the character who was on the receiving end, but definitely not as dramatic. I don't really have any feelings about that. I could take or leave that (though I do think it's probably for the best considering which character it was, that they don't go through too much pain).
Also, I should say that I don't mind so much anymore about Tori & Michael becoming a couple eventually. I just don't like the context of their first kiss at all. I don't remember the original Solitaire well enough to recollect if anything from that scene specifically was changed, but they definitely still kiss in the same context, which is kind of... ugh. But again, I don't really mind them being a couple, I just think if Oseman was going to have them kiss, she should have waited to show that.
There was an interview with Oseman in the back of the book, from which I learned a few tidbits. First of all, Tori is definitely asexual (I knew this already, but it was nice to see her actually state it in an interview), although at the time of writing, Oseman didn't know what asexuality was and so didn't think of her in those terms. She says she just knew she didn't want to depict Tori as drooling over Michael's appearance and didn't want their relationship to stem purely from physical attraction, and only in hindsight did she realize that Tori ended up being "incredibly ace-coded" as a result. (She also said "I wish I could go back to my seventeen-year-old self and point [the ace-coded lines] out and say: 'Maybe you want to think about why you wrote Tori like this.'" Relatable.) She also said, to my surprise, that "I don't feel the desire to pull [Tori] into the foreground again- I feel her story is told." Which baffles me, because I did NOT get that impression from Solitaire, which doesn't end with much closure. I also don't like the idea of Heartstopper ending without any closure for Tori's story, so I really hope that eventually we get SOMETHING that lets us know that Tori is going to be okay or at least that she's done something to work on her mental issues, and maybe something that shows her and Michael's relationship more in-depth than a random kiss at a very inopportune time. I dunno, a gal can dream.
The only other thing I wanted to mention about Solitaire and the Alice Oseman interview was that Oseman said that what happened to Charlie really does weigh on Tori and affect her mental health- but that Tori would never admit to that. So that's why I feel like Tori downplaying the self-harm incident she witnessed is maybe not the most accurate reading of that scene- maybe she told herself that to try to ease her own pain and guilt over it- but I'm not too sure. I also think that makes her objections that she wasn't traumatized by one specific incident a more understandable, in that she's the one saying it, but that's not the truth. But again, I'm not sure... (This is why we need a "Tori goes to therapy" story tbh.)
Overall, now that I've re-read some parts of Solitaire and seen how few things I took issue with were changed, I don't think I need to add this one to my collection. Mostly because re-reading parts of it completely brought back the empathetic feelings I had when I first read it, where I felt so sorry for Tori to the point of feeling her own depression, and I don't want to own a story that makes me feel like that. But also, I gotta be honest, some of the dialogue is very cringeworthy and unrealistic, which I didn't really notice the first time I was reading it but now I'm like... Nah. Looking forward to reading I Was Born For This, though!
