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Mar. 4th, 2023 12:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
between_time_and_42Girl help the characters in my story are being stupid for the sake of the plot ahhhhhHHHHH
To be fair, Part 2 of 2 of SF: ALS was always going to be the most difficult part to rewrite, as it’s the part from Concept Album Extravaganza that’s the hardest to adapt realistically. This is the part of the story where Ziggy, Rael, and Pink get stuck living with Mylo and Xyloto’s gang for almost a month. In the original version of the story, the plane taking Ziggy & Pink to America to start their tour crashed, and they washed ashore alive. They ran into Rael near NYC, which according to the ending of The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway, was swallowed in a purple mist (this was almost certainly meant to be an allegory for something, but I interpreted it literally). Rael offers to be their guide to get them back to civilization, even though he’s never left NYC before, and it’s because of his blundering that they end up running across the gang and getting trapped.
Now, in this story, Pink & Ziggy have been on tour for a week and they meet Rael in NYC when he burns down their tour bus. Ziggy, horrified at the concept of prison, decides to hire Rael as his PA instead of pressing charges. Because flights are limited due to the current energy crisis, the entourage hires vans to take them to their next tour stop. Somehow, the van that Ziggy, Pink, and Rael are in goes off-course, and they aren’t able to refuel, which leads to them having to abandon the van, and on their way back to find civilization, they run into the gang. (The gang live in a very rural area, so it would take a while to get back to civilization.)
My problem here is… if the driver of the van has a map, how could they ever go off-course? I want their mistake to be Rael’s fault, but I feel like no one in their right mind would listen to Rael’s directions. The only way it works is if Rael is the one driving, and again, no one in their right mind would let Rael drive because hahaha… he can’t. I’m also thinking that the van could crash, maybe due to Rael’s bad navigational skills or maybe he actually ends up behind the wheel, and that would also get rid of the driver, potentially. But I’m really unsure about this development.
This opening chapter is taking me forever to work out. I think I might just skip ahead to when the gang shows up, because everything starting from that point is very closely patterned on what happened in the original story, so writing it involves a lot less brainpower.
Also, on a completely different note, I’m trying to decide if Rael’s brother John should have passed away prior to the story, or if it works better for him to still be alive. Hmmm.
To be fair, Part 2 of 2 of SF: ALS was always going to be the most difficult part to rewrite, as it’s the part from Concept Album Extravaganza that’s the hardest to adapt realistically. This is the part of the story where Ziggy, Rael, and Pink get stuck living with Mylo and Xyloto’s gang for almost a month. In the original version of the story, the plane taking Ziggy & Pink to America to start their tour crashed, and they washed ashore alive. They ran into Rael near NYC, which according to the ending of The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway, was swallowed in a purple mist (this was almost certainly meant to be an allegory for something, but I interpreted it literally). Rael offers to be their guide to get them back to civilization, even though he’s never left NYC before, and it’s because of his blundering that they end up running across the gang and getting trapped.
Now, in this story, Pink & Ziggy have been on tour for a week and they meet Rael in NYC when he burns down their tour bus. Ziggy, horrified at the concept of prison, decides to hire Rael as his PA instead of pressing charges. Because flights are limited due to the current energy crisis, the entourage hires vans to take them to their next tour stop. Somehow, the van that Ziggy, Pink, and Rael are in goes off-course, and they aren’t able to refuel, which leads to them having to abandon the van, and on their way back to find civilization, they run into the gang. (The gang live in a very rural area, so it would take a while to get back to civilization.)
My problem here is… if the driver of the van has a map, how could they ever go off-course? I want their mistake to be Rael’s fault, but I feel like no one in their right mind would listen to Rael’s directions. The only way it works is if Rael is the one driving, and again, no one in their right mind would let Rael drive because hahaha… he can’t. I’m also thinking that the van could crash, maybe due to Rael’s bad navigational skills or maybe he actually ends up behind the wheel, and that would also get rid of the driver, potentially. But I’m really unsure about this development.
This opening chapter is taking me forever to work out. I think I might just skip ahead to when the gang shows up, because everything starting from that point is very closely patterned on what happened in the original story, so writing it involves a lot less brainpower.
Also, on a completely different note, I’m trying to decide if Rael’s brother John should have passed away prior to the story, or if it works better for him to still be alive. Hmmm.
