WIP Wednesday 22
Feb. 22nd, 2023 07:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
between_time_and_42Happy Wednesday, everyone, here’s half of a follow-up story to Will They Come? that I’m writing, focusing on Julie following the events of that story. Or rather, it takes place between the end of the main story and the epilogue (before the time skip).
Disclaimer: I am cis. Julie is not. Just putting that out there.
Julie Martin had been excited for her best friend Jack to introduce her to the settlers, until she was actually introduced to the settlers.
Ever since Jack, who had grown up in the settlements, had first mentioned his background to her, his descriptions had tantalized Julie. She couldn’t comprehend being raised in what was essentially the wilderness, a ramshackle series of communes constructed entirely by humans. So when Jack announced, after discovering that the soap in Julie’s family’s shower was down to its last sliver, that he wanted to visit the Gutierrez settlement to pick up more, Julie had leapt at the chance. She’d skated out of Hunger City and headed through the fields beyond with undeniable vigor, eager to satiate her boundless curiosity. Her energy must have infected Jack, for he couldn’t stop grinning as he followed her. But that was par for the course when Jack was in Julie’s presence. It had been many days now since the end of the People’s siege of Hunger City, and Jack’s subsequent decision to move in with Julie’s family, but he still seemed reluctant to let Julie out of his sight, after having spent the siege with no idea as to her whereabouts. “It’s nothing,” Jack confessed when Julie questioned him. “Just excited to go back to the settlements, is all.” But Julie had a strong suspicion that that was not, in fact, all.
After hearing so much about the settlers from Jack, Julie considered it paramount to make a good first impression. Jack had taken a liking to her right away, so she wasn’t too concerned. Until she’d opened her mouth to introduce herself to premiere soap maker Gloria Gutierrez, and a quick flash of wait, hang on, WHAT is she again scuttled across Gloria’s face. It was the same way her parents had looked at her when she’d quietly announced, one night after dinner, that she wasn’t a boy like they’d always assumed, and she wanted to be known as Julie from that point forward.
If Julie’s parents had been there, she knew they would have reminded her that there was no need to hold Gloria’s reaction against her. They’ve never met anyone like you before, she could hear her mom saying. You just have to prove to them how much you’re worth. But Julie hadn’t come to the settlements expecting to prove herself. She’d only wanted to meet some new people and learn about their way of life. Yet the more settlers Jack introduced her to, the more difficult it became for her to ignore their furtive glances in the direction of her hands, chest, and throat, and their stammering whenever forced to address her in the third person (“uh… she?… ‘s right over here!”).
There was no doubt that the settlers respected her. They pretty much had to, since it was all thanks to her that most of them were even alive (or so Jack was quick to remind practically everyone). But Julie couldn’t remember the last time that she’d felt so aware of the whole gender thing. Or the last time she’d thought of it as a whole gender thing.
“You okay?” Jack asked when they’d left the settlement. At first Julie thought that he’d noticed the way the settlers had treated her, but then it occurred to her that he might just be reacting to the expression on her face. She swallowed and shrugged.
“I’m fine.” Before Jack could press her– though Julie doubted he would– she made her voice a bit perkier, a bit brighter. “Thanks for taking me out there. Now, c’mon! Let’s skate!”
As entertaining a diversion as skating was, by the end of the day, after Julie had hugged her parents goodnight, turned the lights out on Jack (who lay asleep on the couch in the main room), and retired to bed herself, her thoughts wandered back to the settlers and how differently they had reacted to her compared to the city-dwellers. It was strange to reflect on how the first people who had ended up accepting Julie were also the people around whom she’d initially been scared stiff. She’d let the Nadsats– or Diamond Dogs, as they had been called at the time– believe that she was a boy, because if she introduced herself as a girl, she knew they’d figure out that she was the wrong kind of girl, and then there would be trouble. But nowadays, trouble was the last thing she incurred as she sailed through Hunger City on her skates, sometimes with Jack by her side and sometimes on her own. “Hi hi hi there, fair devotchka!” every Nadsat she passed would cry, before inviting her to do any number of things, ranging from stopping for a chat to joining in on whatever “ultraviolence” they happened to be brewing. The fact that Julie had recently helped save the human race had surely raised her stature in the Nadsats’ eyes, but even before the siege, they’d been astonishingly blasé once they’d found out her real name and pronouns. Only the People and the Mercurians had accepted her as wholeheartedly as the Nadsats had, and that was because they had no frame of reference for how a human was supposed to be. If only the same went for my own species. Who said that humans were “supposed” to be anything?
Julie sighed as she shifted from her back to her side, trying to get comfortable under the covers while untangling her recent memories. Now that she had begun to openly present as a girl, the only instance she could recall of her gender confusing a city-dweller had been the first time she’d met her friend Widdy’s siblings. It had also been the first (and only) time that she’d considered cursing at a child. “Are you a boy or a girl?” Lilia had asked, staring wide-eyed up at Julie, and it had taken every ounce of Julie’s strength to transfer her anger from the harmless eight-year-old to Widdy’s mother, who really should have taught her children not to say things like that, considering that her older son was in a relationship with another boy.
“I’m nobody,” Julie had replied, quoting from a poem that her mother had once recited to her. “Who are you? Are you nobody, too?” It wasn’t true, exactly. Julie very much was somebody, and she wanted the world to know. But as much as she wished it wouldn’t affect her, and as much as it shouldn’t matter to anyone… questions like Lilia’s made her feel differently. People who asked that never followed it up with “What’s your favorite song?” (“Memory of a Free Festival” by Ziggy Stardust), or “How do you spend your time?” (exploring the city and studying history and culture), or “How long did it take you to master braking while skating backwards?” (five days, give or take, which was a record that Julie was still proud of). They only wanted to catalog her, before she had a chance to tell them anything about herself.
Lying on her right side wasn’t much of an improvement, so Julie rolled onto her left side, just in time for her bedroom door to swing open. Two eyes peered from the space between the door and its frame. “Julie? Are you awake?”
Julie nodded, then realized that Jack might not be able to see her in the dark. “Yeah. Come in.” She motioned him forward with her hand, and Jack entered the room, the blanket that Julie’s mother had given him slipping from his shoulders.
“Couch not treating you well?” Julie asked, sitting up and patting the space on the bed beside her. Jack shook his head as he sat down.
“I can’t sleep.” He reclined into the mattress, settling his hands on his stomach. “Your bed’s so comfy, Julie.”
“Okay, okay.” Julie snorted. “I can take a hint.”
“Wha—? No, I…” Jack propped himself up on his elbows, staring at Julie. “You can kick me out of your room if you want. The couch isn’t that bad…”
“Shut up.” Julie poked Jack’s nose, enjoying the way he went cross-eyed in response. “You can stay. You’ll have to get out before my parents get up in the morning, though.”
“Aw, c’mon.” Jack popped back upright, running his fingers through his hair. “Like we’re gonna do anything.”
You’re one to talk, Julie thought, but she said nothing, mussing up her own hair and clearing her throat. Considering that she and Jack had, in fact, done something… She wondered if Jack was remembering that night in the basement– how he’d assured her that he wanted it, how his hands had felt against her skin and how gently he’d held her when they’d curled up on the mattress afterwards. He could have had anyone in the city. He could have found someone who was more at home in her body, someone who more closely resembled the ideal definition of a girl. But he’d wanted Julie, and he’d gotten Julie. And now they were alone together again.
“We can if you want,” she murmured, without looking Jack in the eye.
Jack, bless him, sat up straighter and turned his head Julie’s way. “Do you want to?”
Deja vu struck Julie. That was the same question Jack had asked the first time, when they’d been in the basement. That time, she’d answered him with a kiss, fully caught up in the excitement of the moment. Now, sitting peacefully in her own bedroom, she knew that she needed to say yes out loud. Before responding, she took a moment to assess her level of comfort. If it was anyone else but Jack sitting beside her, asking her if she wanted to fool around, she wasn’t sure that she would have said a word. None of the boys his age whom she’d run across in Hunger City had ever looked at her the way he had. None of them had kept her awake at night, pondering whether the feelings she had for him could be classified as romantic, or whether he’d be interested in taking her to bed. It was Jack, and only Jack, with whom she could ever imagine doing what they were about to do.
“Yes.” Julie reached out, her hand cupping the back of Jack’s neck. “Yes, I do.” She pulled him close, and their lips met as they slowly sank down together on the mattress.
Disclaimer: I am cis. Julie is not. Just putting that out there.
Julie Martin had been excited for her best friend Jack to introduce her to the settlers, until she was actually introduced to the settlers.
Ever since Jack, who had grown up in the settlements, had first mentioned his background to her, his descriptions had tantalized Julie. She couldn’t comprehend being raised in what was essentially the wilderness, a ramshackle series of communes constructed entirely by humans. So when Jack announced, after discovering that the soap in Julie’s family’s shower was down to its last sliver, that he wanted to visit the Gutierrez settlement to pick up more, Julie had leapt at the chance. She’d skated out of Hunger City and headed through the fields beyond with undeniable vigor, eager to satiate her boundless curiosity. Her energy must have infected Jack, for he couldn’t stop grinning as he followed her. But that was par for the course when Jack was in Julie’s presence. It had been many days now since the end of the People’s siege of Hunger City, and Jack’s subsequent decision to move in with Julie’s family, but he still seemed reluctant to let Julie out of his sight, after having spent the siege with no idea as to her whereabouts. “It’s nothing,” Jack confessed when Julie questioned him. “Just excited to go back to the settlements, is all.” But Julie had a strong suspicion that that was not, in fact, all.
After hearing so much about the settlers from Jack, Julie considered it paramount to make a good first impression. Jack had taken a liking to her right away, so she wasn’t too concerned. Until she’d opened her mouth to introduce herself to premiere soap maker Gloria Gutierrez, and a quick flash of wait, hang on, WHAT is she again scuttled across Gloria’s face. It was the same way her parents had looked at her when she’d quietly announced, one night after dinner, that she wasn’t a boy like they’d always assumed, and she wanted to be known as Julie from that point forward.
If Julie’s parents had been there, she knew they would have reminded her that there was no need to hold Gloria’s reaction against her. They’ve never met anyone like you before, she could hear her mom saying. You just have to prove to them how much you’re worth. But Julie hadn’t come to the settlements expecting to prove herself. She’d only wanted to meet some new people and learn about their way of life. Yet the more settlers Jack introduced her to, the more difficult it became for her to ignore their furtive glances in the direction of her hands, chest, and throat, and their stammering whenever forced to address her in the third person (“uh… she?… ‘s right over here!”).
There was no doubt that the settlers respected her. They pretty much had to, since it was all thanks to her that most of them were even alive (or so Jack was quick to remind practically everyone). But Julie couldn’t remember the last time that she’d felt so aware of the whole gender thing. Or the last time she’d thought of it as a whole gender thing.
“You okay?” Jack asked when they’d left the settlement. At first Julie thought that he’d noticed the way the settlers had treated her, but then it occurred to her that he might just be reacting to the expression on her face. She swallowed and shrugged.
“I’m fine.” Before Jack could press her– though Julie doubted he would– she made her voice a bit perkier, a bit brighter. “Thanks for taking me out there. Now, c’mon! Let’s skate!”
As entertaining a diversion as skating was, by the end of the day, after Julie had hugged her parents goodnight, turned the lights out on Jack (who lay asleep on the couch in the main room), and retired to bed herself, her thoughts wandered back to the settlers and how differently they had reacted to her compared to the city-dwellers. It was strange to reflect on how the first people who had ended up accepting Julie were also the people around whom she’d initially been scared stiff. She’d let the Nadsats– or Diamond Dogs, as they had been called at the time– believe that she was a boy, because if she introduced herself as a girl, she knew they’d figure out that she was the wrong kind of girl, and then there would be trouble. But nowadays, trouble was the last thing she incurred as she sailed through Hunger City on her skates, sometimes with Jack by her side and sometimes on her own. “Hi hi hi there, fair devotchka!” every Nadsat she passed would cry, before inviting her to do any number of things, ranging from stopping for a chat to joining in on whatever “ultraviolence” they happened to be brewing. The fact that Julie had recently helped save the human race had surely raised her stature in the Nadsats’ eyes, but even before the siege, they’d been astonishingly blasé once they’d found out her real name and pronouns. Only the People and the Mercurians had accepted her as wholeheartedly as the Nadsats had, and that was because they had no frame of reference for how a human was supposed to be. If only the same went for my own species. Who said that humans were “supposed” to be anything?
Julie sighed as she shifted from her back to her side, trying to get comfortable under the covers while untangling her recent memories. Now that she had begun to openly present as a girl, the only instance she could recall of her gender confusing a city-dweller had been the first time she’d met her friend Widdy’s siblings. It had also been the first (and only) time that she’d considered cursing at a child. “Are you a boy or a girl?” Lilia had asked, staring wide-eyed up at Julie, and it had taken every ounce of Julie’s strength to transfer her anger from the harmless eight-year-old to Widdy’s mother, who really should have taught her children not to say things like that, considering that her older son was in a relationship with another boy.
“I’m nobody,” Julie had replied, quoting from a poem that her mother had once recited to her. “Who are you? Are you nobody, too?” It wasn’t true, exactly. Julie very much was somebody, and she wanted the world to know. But as much as she wished it wouldn’t affect her, and as much as it shouldn’t matter to anyone… questions like Lilia’s made her feel differently. People who asked that never followed it up with “What’s your favorite song?” (“Memory of a Free Festival” by Ziggy Stardust), or “How do you spend your time?” (exploring the city and studying history and culture), or “How long did it take you to master braking while skating backwards?” (five days, give or take, which was a record that Julie was still proud of). They only wanted to catalog her, before she had a chance to tell them anything about herself.
Lying on her right side wasn’t much of an improvement, so Julie rolled onto her left side, just in time for her bedroom door to swing open. Two eyes peered from the space between the door and its frame. “Julie? Are you awake?”
Julie nodded, then realized that Jack might not be able to see her in the dark. “Yeah. Come in.” She motioned him forward with her hand, and Jack entered the room, the blanket that Julie’s mother had given him slipping from his shoulders.
“Couch not treating you well?” Julie asked, sitting up and patting the space on the bed beside her. Jack shook his head as he sat down.
“I can’t sleep.” He reclined into the mattress, settling his hands on his stomach. “Your bed’s so comfy, Julie.”
“Okay, okay.” Julie snorted. “I can take a hint.”
“Wha—? No, I…” Jack propped himself up on his elbows, staring at Julie. “You can kick me out of your room if you want. The couch isn’t that bad…”
“Shut up.” Julie poked Jack’s nose, enjoying the way he went cross-eyed in response. “You can stay. You’ll have to get out before my parents get up in the morning, though.”
“Aw, c’mon.” Jack popped back upright, running his fingers through his hair. “Like we’re gonna do anything.”
You’re one to talk, Julie thought, but she said nothing, mussing up her own hair and clearing her throat. Considering that she and Jack had, in fact, done something… She wondered if Jack was remembering that night in the basement– how he’d assured her that he wanted it, how his hands had felt against her skin and how gently he’d held her when they’d curled up on the mattress afterwards. He could have had anyone in the city. He could have found someone who was more at home in her body, someone who more closely resembled the ideal definition of a girl. But he’d wanted Julie, and he’d gotten Julie. And now they were alone together again.
“We can if you want,” she murmured, without looking Jack in the eye.
Jack, bless him, sat up straighter and turned his head Julie’s way. “Do you want to?”
Deja vu struck Julie. That was the same question Jack had asked the first time, when they’d been in the basement. That time, she’d answered him with a kiss, fully caught up in the excitement of the moment. Now, sitting peacefully in her own bedroom, she knew that she needed to say yes out loud. Before responding, she took a moment to assess her level of comfort. If it was anyone else but Jack sitting beside her, asking her if she wanted to fool around, she wasn’t sure that she would have said a word. None of the boys his age whom she’d run across in Hunger City had ever looked at her the way he had. None of them had kept her awake at night, pondering whether the feelings she had for him could be classified as romantic, or whether he’d be interested in taking her to bed. It was Jack, and only Jack, with whom she could ever imagine doing what they were about to do.
“Yes.” Julie reached out, her hand cupping the back of Jack’s neck. “Yes, I do.” She pulled him close, and their lips met as they slowly sank down together on the mattress.
