(no subject)

[between_time_and_42]

I wish someone would make a good Beach Boys iceberg meme because there’s so, SO much to cover on it. Like, it’s bonkers how much lore there is. I’ve only seen a few BB icebergs and all of them included rando joke conspiracy theories that no one genuinely believes, or they just listed songs/albums in order of least obscure to most obscure, and I’m like… No. You have to do proper justice to the Beach Boys story and include EVERYTHING. I want to see things like David Anderle’s portrait of Brian Wilson triggering a mental health crisis in him, Brian getting kicked out of a Phil Spector recording session, Dennis Wilson’s 5 marriages (including twice with the same person and once with his cousin’s illegitimate daughter), Bruce Johnston as a professional mic-stand-adjuster, “acid alliteration,” Rocky Pamplin and Stan Love beating up Dennis (plus the former supposedly having an affair with Brian’s wife, and while we’re on the subject, Brian supposedly had an affair with his wife’s sister), the many, many SMiLE bootlegs and remixes, the theory that Brian Wilson Presents SMiLE is just Darian Sahanaja’s personal SMiLE remix, “don’t fuck with the formula,” “I’m a genius too/syn-co-pate it/sing from your hearts,” why the C50 tour fell apart (and why it’s called C50 in the first place, since I never understood that), Darian’s cover of “Do You Have Any Regrets” b/w “I Wanna Pick You Up,” the airport photo (which I still don’t know the story behind), Brian having never read his own autobiography (the first one, anyway), Wondermints, The Honeys/Spring/American Spring, The Beach Boys Salute to NASCAR, the cocaine sessions, Sweet Insanity/whatever those sessions with Andy Paley were called, the Spongebob “Ripped Pants” song being a send-up of “Be True to Your School,” Brian’s obsession with “Be My Baby” by the Ronettes, conspiracy theories about Brian’s “wife and managers” controlling him and forcing him to be on the road, Love & Mercy, the story about Brian repeatedly introducing himself to John Lennon (which I think was a put-on but whatever), Paul McCartney allegedly chewing carrots on the original recording of “Vega-Tables,” the “Fire” sessions and how the tapes were supposedly destroyed (but not really), Blondie Chaplin and Ricky Fataar joining the band for “diversity,” maybe some SmileySmile.Net lore (since that forum is how I discovered most of this information) such as that one Beach Boys historian who got banned for alleging that certain forum members were actually members of The Beach Boys’ inner circle and that one member who claimed to be Dennis’ illegitimate daughter until it was found that she’d stolen the photos of “herself” from an actual teenage girl’s Facebook account, and of course (lest we not forget the most iconic line in cinema history), “You’re out of the band, buckwheat!”

See? There’s a wealth of information here, and I didn’t even mention anything about Mike Love! Which reminds me, there is one thing I’d really love to see mentioned- the saga of Mike fasting for a week which supposedly included him stripping on live TV and his managers/friends chasing him down into a car to go to the hospital only for him to escape. I don’t know if any of that actually happened. But one thing I DO know that happened that is also worth mentioning is Mike’s sour speech at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction, which he then blamed on “forgetting to meditate that day.” And how he attributes meditation to keeping him from wanting to hurt and emotionally abuse people, and really if we’re on the subject of Mike Love’s self-care, then we should really just mention his entire Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous episode where he massages himself to get the “cooties” out (and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen), and if we’re talking about THAT I might as well OH GOD SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE THIS MEME.