(no subject)

Damn, rewriting this old novel is difficult. Even rereading it is difficult, because I keep going "why was I so proud of this? Why did I think that was good..." etc. But it's really hard to get back into the mindset of my teenage self, especially since this entire story is littered with self-hating, depressive sections. The character of Adrian, a teenage boy who's been abused by both his parents, is supposed to be the most sympathetic character. But Trish, the protagonist, is so much more relatable for me, being a teenage girl who's going through the same thing that most teenage girls who don't conform to social norms do- feeling like it's a miracle that she has a single friend, believing she's unattractive in every way, hating how shy she is and constantly kicking herself to act more "normal..." Plus her family issues are very real to me, especially now that I've rewritten the story so that the target of her disgust is her stepfather and not her brother. Basically, it's just extremely hard to remind myself of how I felt back then- I keep being shocked by my own words, "was I really THAT depressed in high school?" (and why do I sometimes feel like it hasn't gotten better...) But, I believe in this story, and I want to keep writing it.

(no subject)

I wasn't planning on watching The Mandalorian but tonight a coworker started complaining about the most recent episode and how the female director inserted feminist themes into it and how it was so unrealistic that the female character defeated the Mandalorian in a fight, so now I have no choice but to watch it.

Hey, my "watch it because misogynists complain about it" instinct has never been wrong before!

(Okay, that's a bold claim to make, I'm pretty sure my coworker is not a misogynist, but just saying.)

(Also, like everyone and their mother, I'm in love with Baby Yoda. So that's even more incentive.)